I get picked on from time to time and usually by my wife.  Oh I know, some of you who know her well would never believe it, but it’s true…she picks on me!

So the other day, were were both complaining about “winter hands” so I went to the store and started sniffing for the right lotion.  I don’t like hand lotion much but bleeding knuckles suck so I suspend my dislike for the winter months.  Still, I don’t want to smell like a girl.  So I popped the lids on some and did the sniff test.  The scents were all over the place…some were stinky or girly or reminiscent of the southbound end of a northbound moose.

Finally, I happened upon a bottle of Jergens – original scent.  I knew I had my lotion!  I love this stuff!  It instantly transported me to my childhood where one of my relatives had Jergens in her house.  As a child, that smell was one of luxury.  I have no idea why but that’s how I viewed it.  I look back on it now and it’s silly, but my child-brain kicked in and it didn’t matter…I wanted to enjoy that luxurious feel in my home.  And sure enough, Jergens lotion is great!  It doesn’t stay oily and it works well on winter hands!  So I told Emily my story using those words and she has been picking on me ever since!  I don’t even care though…I am living a luxurious life!

There is a second part of the life of luxury I live…

The other night I was preparing to jump in the shower around 11pm.  It was a “work night” and pretty typical of my usual routine.  I cranked the water on, waited for it to heat up and jumped in.  I had my washcloth all lathered up when all of a sudden, water shot everywhere except out of the shower head.      I looked and the flexible pipe broke where it attaches to the wall.  We have long had a cheap low-flow shower head on a junky flexible hose that had a mind of its own.  It finally broke which didn’t make me sad.  Breaking at 11pm made me sad as neither Emily nor I had gotten a shower and we didn’t want to be unshowered for work the next day.

I decided I would just go to Walmart  for a replacement.  It’s the only place open at 11pm.  They had a wide assortment of junk but I spied one shower head that had a metalish hose rather than an all plastic hose…sold!  They didn’t sell any hoses without the head but I never liked the hose or the head we had anyhow.  Surely, the metal hose has to be better than the plastic one that broke.

So here is the luxury part.  I didn’t realize it until I got home but this was not a low-flow shower head.  It was an “EcoSpa” and had green ink on its packaging.  It wasn’t until I got home that what made it “eco” was the “water-saving pause switch”.  Talk about worthless.  I saw “USA” on the package when I grabbed it too…I was feeling pretty good …until I got home.  It was packaged in the US of A.  Talk about a whole bunch of marketing crap!  Anyhow, I feel bad having a water-wasting shower head, but I have to tell you, the regular flow shower head is super nice.  I didn’t realize how pitiful the other was until I installed this new head (at, oh, about 12:15am) and grabbed a shower.  Talk about luxurious!

Please don’t judge me for using all these highfalutin things.  I promise to ask Emily to use the pause switch when she shaves her legs…