Category Archives: Fun

The color of idiot

Family, Fun,

Did you ever wonder what the color of idiot looks like?  Read on friends and I will show you…but a little back story first.

We made it to Tybee Island near Savannah on Saturday. Our house is nice and right on the beach so have spent a lot of time in and near the ocean.  Dolphins come by each morning eating the small fish that seem to be everywhere.  They tend to jump in the air which makes no sense to me.  I have taken to calling them suicide fish.  Pelicans and seagulls fly over all the time and the silly jumping fish are just advertising their location.  I guess it’s their business but really my fish friends…life is worth living.

At low tide we found that there are hundreds and thousands of sand dollars in the shallow water.  Isaac started collecting them planning to sell them on ebay for a dollar a piece.  You should have seen the dollar signs in his eyes.   Since they are living creatures, I made him return them to the ocean of course.

We also found sea stars all over the place.  I seemed to be able to find them every step I took.  No one else had the sensitivity in their feet I suppose.  I always knew I had rosebud feet.  It’s kind of silly I suppose but I sort of feel bad for these creatures that must be under foot all of the time.  I carry every creature I find back out into deeper water.  I know it probably doesn’t make a bit of difference in the grand scheme of things.  It just bugs me when silly redneck idiots gather handfuls of sea stars and sand dollars to watch them bake on the beach.  I don’t really have a solution that involves me saving these low-tide creatures while not going to jail so I silently do my part by carrying every one I find to deeper water.

So, back to the original question…the color of idiot.  When I arrived at Tybee Island, my skin color was this:

By Sunday at noon, my skin color was this:

Can you pick the color of idiot?

On the river

Adventure, Family, Fun, WV, , ,

We got a canoe many years ago, shortly after we were married.  At that time, graduate school left us with very little free time so we didn’t use the canoe much.  Then we started having babies and, though I tried to work out a safe way of buckling a car seat into the canoe, we decided not to take wee little kids on the river in a canoe.  Since we moved back to WV, we have been itching to get on the river with our canoe.

I grew up near the Allegheny river and we canoed on it quite a bit.  My hometown was very rural.  In fact, if you drive up to the edge of the Earth and then turn left and go 25 miles, you’ll get there.  Anyhow, we did lots of outdoorsy stuff and I had missed that in Nashville.  Now that we are in WV, we have more opportunity to be in Nature.

So, when we got the call to go canoeing with Emily’s aunt and uncle, we jumped.  They canoe often so showed us a fun launch on the Little Coal River (it’s WV…there is lots of coal here, of course).  The river was up some and moving pretty quickly from recent rains.  As we looked on the river, Isaac said, “Uh…I am not comfortable with this!”  Abigail quickly came down with an upset stomache as well.  They were both so funny and cautious (a definite good thing!).

We finally got the kids in the canoes and got ourselves launched and had a wonderful time coasting down the river.  There were few distractions and the lack of sound actually made my ears ring a little.  It was wonderful.  The kids settled down and we just coasted…and relaxed…and talked.  I loved being back in Nature (with a capital N for its importance!) and hearing birds and the water gurgling.  I loved hearing my kids chatter about the river and their thoughts.  I loved to see my son take his turn in the front seat, paddling pretty well.

(You’re kidding, right?)


So, we’ll get back on the river soon.  We’ll look for chances to slow down and relax together.  We’ll fish and drink too much pop and eat too many marshmallows and we’ll enjoy life the way it is supposed to be!

I’m not dead yet

Fun, Thoughts,

I wanted to take one of those pictures like American Beauty…you know, with the half naked girl all covered in rose petals. But instead of that, it would be me covered in books about the undead. But then I got creeped out and decided to skip that part.

I mentioned yesterday that I was tired and was going to begin my quest for things that make me un-tired. It’s funny, but the undead make me un-tired…at least reading about them make me un-tired. We started reading the Twilight series of books. The Twilight books are about a family of vampires that “go vegetarian” and try to somewhat live in society. You really should read it for yourself (or, if you aren’t a reader, see the movie).

After posting about my interest in the Twilight books, Erica mentioned the Sookie Stackhouse series…a more adult vampire series.  Really, the books aren’t adult in an “adult” way but are probably less appealing to teenage girls than the Twilight books.  Anyhow, I am now reading them as well. The HBO series TrueBlood is based on the Sookie Stackhouse series…it is more adult in an “adult” way. Not too bad, just HBO-style! Anyhow, we’re getting them on Netflix…

So, reading is one of those things that makes me un-tired.  I get a chance to slow down and get lost in someone else’s world.  The best part is that it’s partly my world too. That’s why I like book so much I suppose.  A movie presents it all to the viewer and leaves little to the viewer’s imagination.  A book sets a scene but leaves so much for the reader to imagine.  It’s a wonderful escape for me!

Since we’re speaking of the dead and the undead, I got to thinking about Monty Python’s Holy Grail movie…you gotta watch this clip….”I’m not dead yet”…it cracks me up every time!

So what about it…are you reading the Twilight or  Sookie Stackhouse books?  What other summer books are on your “list”?

Symphony Sunday

Family, Fun, WV, ,


The WV Symphony is based here in Charleston and is really first class.  As a part of their community outreach, they hold Symphony Sunday each year at the University of Charleston.  The university is situated on a beautiful campus along the Kanawha River directly across the WV State Capitol.

(Note my artistic shadow on the poster…uh…I meant to do that)

The symphony sets up on a stage at one end of the green the rest of the area fills with people and vendors (classy stuff mostly) and activities for the kids.  Symphony Sunday is really an all day event where local children’s orchestras and community ensembles get an opportunity to perform. There are kids’ activities all day long and it’s a great family affair.  They have special dinners and brunches and so on leading up to the event.

So, “the event” is the evening performance of the WV Symphony followed by a fireworks show.  This year, the theme of the event was “A Pirate’s Symphony”.  Mostly, the performance was comprised of music that sounds like it would be good in a pirate movie…you know eerie stuff that shivers yer timbers and makes you yell “Arrrrrgh”. Indeed, I had a strange craving for rum all evening.  Anyhow, there was one funny song that made me laugh when it began.  They started the song, “Holding out for a Hero“.  Emily asked what movie it came from and I said, “Footloose”.  The kids both immediately chimed in, “Shrek”.  Huh…yup, I guess so.  But I knew the real right answer!

Anyhow, the kids got some ice cream and completely enjoyed the frozen joy from ear to ear!  We sat along the river eating ice cream and talking and listening to the music.  A regular armada of boats anchored in the river and also enjoyed the music.  We dreamed about pirates and the looming attack from all the “ships” waiting to send their crew to land.  It was a perfect night and we had a tremendous time.

Finally, at around 10 o’clock, the barge from which they launch the fireworks moved to the middle of the river as the final songs started.  We watched and waited, not sure which point in the final number would signal the launch.  We had an unimpeded view of the men in the cage on the barge controlling the launch.  As “Stars and Stripes” got midway through, the fireworks kicked off and we were delighted by the sight!  It was magnificent!

So, summer is officially here and we are ready!  Do you have some similar event that you enjoy that signals summer at your place?

Original Gangsters

Family, Fun,

We went to PA last weekend to visit my family and it was actually warm there. It’s rare that we go to PA and not find snow…regardless of the season. Anyhow, we went and my Mom had bought a few squirt guns for the kids. I’ll mostly let the pictures speak for themselves…but notice that Isaac is often on the run from his sister…that’s gonna haunt him later!


(Is she bad a$$ or what?!)


(the only time they worked together was to refill…and to attack me!)


(this one scares me a little)


(yeah…I am hit!)

Of course, back in WV is raining cats and dogs…and cows and sheep and goats.  We’ve had so much rain and so many bad floods nearby that I think we are due a little more squirt gun sort of weather!

I’m not George Bush

Fun, Garden,

Back when the first George Bush was president, he (somewhat) famously said, “I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.”  In fact, he went so far as to ban broccoli from the White House and Air Force One menus.

Truly, it was a sad day in American history.  In a brilliant move, broccoli growers shipped 10 tons of the stuff to the White House (which was refused and later donated to food banks).  The funny thing is that the popularity of broccoli grew after President Bush’s statement.  I guess it sort of follows his presidency really.  No wonder he wasn’t re-elected!  It all started with his distaste for broccoli…the American people could not tolerate such a a trait in a President!

I never realized, but broccoli is very important in American politics and appears to swing elections every cycle.  Discussion of broccoli started back in Roman times but first figured into American politics when Thomas Jefferson wrote about it.  Let’s see, Jefferson, one of our most foundational leaders loved broccoli…yes, George Bush should have choked it down and followed after Jefferson!

We harvested our first broccoli the other day and it was delicious!  I have long been a proud broccoli-eater and am delighted to have fresh available again!  I think it is pretty clear…along the Presidential continuum, I am much closer to a Thomas Jefferson than a George Bush!

Our pal Franco Harris

Fun, WV,

Emily works at Piedmont Elementary, an inner-city school in Charleston, WV.  The kids there are ethnically diverse and a great number come from poverty homes.  In spite of those issues (and they are many), there are so many great things about the school.  The staff generally want to be there (because you wouldn’t stay if you didn’t), and the principal has a passion for doing whatever is best for the kids.  Piedmont is one of only a few year round schools in WV, thanks to the principal’s passion to serve the kids.  Year round school gives the kids consistency and at least 2 regular meals year round.

Mr Knighton, the principal also knows a lot of people.  Yesterday, one of his contacts delivered.  Franco Harris of the famous Immaculate Reception and the Super Bowl-ring-heavy Pittsburgh Steelers was speaking in Charleston yesterday and had some free time.  Mr Knighton’s friend was able to schedule some time for the Piedmont kids to meet Franco Harris and he delivered a talk on eating right, making wise choices, etc.  The kids, none of whom were alive when Franco played football, enjoyed the talk and the chance to meet a football great!  It was a great treat for the kids and the staff (who DO remember when he played!)

Emily was able to have Franco Harris sign my Steelers hat which has taken its rightful position on my pillow, right beside my head.  He was very gracious to all the kids who had questions and wanted autographs as well.  I absolutely dig it when sports stars come back to Earth and do great things for people who need it.

So what about you…do you have any autographs or stories of famous folks?

Brace Face

Fun


I have crooked, messed up teeth.  I have had them since before I can really remember.  I suppose my baby teeth must have been crooked as well.  Why would a person be lucky enough to have straight baby teeth only to be plagued by crooked adult teeth?  Huh…come to think of it, that is exactly how the world seems to work.  Anyhow, I have crooked teeth.  They are chipped and mangled and ugly.

Emily has been bugging me for years to see an orthodontist to get them straightened.  Since she means so much to me, I went to the orthodontist after only 11 years of “discussion”.  That’s really pretty quick all things considered.  Anyhow, the orthodontic staff stretched my face in all sorts of unnatural ways and took all sorts of pictures at angles sure to accentuate the crookedness of my chompers.  I suppose the hideousness of my appearance was supposed to shock me into wanting to fix my teeth.  I fooled them though…my wife scared me into it…they had no effect!

As a part of the examination, I got a few x-rays taken.  I know no one would believe my story unless I showed you the proof.  If you’ll notice, the shot of my skull does not show a hollow space.  There is something inside and it does not appear to be either rocks or marbles!

Since I am an adult and I get the pleasure of paying for whatever orthodontia I choose, I decided to get invisible braces.  I signed up for Invisalign straighteners that are supposed to be essentially invisible and as effective as normal braces if used properly.  Apparently every couple of weeks I will get new plastic inserts that snap onto my teeth and pull them into alignment over the next 12-18 months.  I will be in no danger of getting my braces stuck to Emily if we ever decide to share a smooch!

The orthodontist promised me I would end up with perfectly straightened teeth.  He plans to smooth out the rough edges and chips I have too.  I protested at first telling him I earned almost every one of those chipped teeth the hard way.  I still need to pay my brother back for most of those knocks…

Anyhow, in 4-8 weeks, I will have my new invisible braces.  I will happily be on my way to new and straightened teeth.  If all goes well, I may jet out to Hollywood and expose my bits to the papparazzi because surely I will be just like a movie star!

EDIT:  Braces are here!

I used to sing backup for Billy Joel

Adventure, Fun,

I started working when I was pretty young. As I recall, I was 13 when I started selling live bait and hunting and fishing equipment in a sporting goods/general store in my home town. We really sold everything there and it was a pretty fun place to work. We worked hard but we played pretty hard too.

I worked in college and graduated a semester early. While waiting to marry Emily, I moved to her hometown and worked several jobs. It started with Red Lobster. I was hired as a server. I worked my first night and told them I wouldn’t be back the next day. I had found a better gig afterall. I was to be a shift manager at Taco Bell. I worked there for 4 days and found an even better gig (hard to imagine, I know) so I moved to a position as an “electrical schmuck” at Lowes. I stayed there for 2 months or so and moved to a garden nursery where I worked 1 week. By this time, Emily was pretty concerned about who she was marrying. I was obviously unstable and a “roamer”. My final gig that summer was at a feed store in Charleston where I think I worked harder than I ever had before. All of these jobs did give me a good appreciation for what it meant to work and what I didn’t want to do for a living.

So we went to graduate school where I taught some math and computer classes to make a few bucks in addition to the research I was doing. I have had a few regular jobs since school including the one at which I work now.

All of these other jobs were nothing compared to my favorite job (so far). This weekend, Emily and I went to Cleveland, OH to hear Billy Joel and Elton John in their Face 2 Face tour. Emily and I both sang backup vocals for the two entertainers! We were brilliant at it really. Billy himself commented at how we were right on key!

Ok…so all that is to say that we, along with 20,000 other folks , went to hear Elton and Billy play an awesome 3 and a half hour concert! The Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland was sold out and very much packed. The crowd went absolutely nuts when Billy and Elton’s pianos rose from the stage and they walked on. It was incredible! Billy was absolutely every bit as good as I had hoped. I have been a huge fan since high school and was not disappointed in the wait to hear him! He was funny and engaging and a phenomenal entertainer (doesn’t he have a song about that? 🙂 ). I would go and see him again without hesitation. Billy and Elton together were very good as well. They played back and forth and had fun keying off of each other. Elton by himself was not stellar which was disappointing. Still, I am glad I got to see him as well.

Anyhow, the crowd was absolutely into the show. We had pretty great seats but that didn’t keep the “interesting” folks out. Let me just say that I am thankful that my wife is not a drunken-lap-dancing-ho like the girl next to us was. Enough said… But the rest of the crowd (save the one person who was burning something herbal) was tremendous. My ears rang and I was dizzy from the roar of the crowd. All-in-all, it was a fantastic show and a great weekend! I am certain that my favorite job was my time as a rock and roll star…or at least doing the backup vocals for a rock and roll star!

Just for reference, here is the set they played:
BILLY JOEL AND ELTON JOHN:
Your Song, Just the Way You Are, Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me, My Life
ELTON JOHN:
Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding, Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting, Burn Down the Mission, Madman Across the Water, Tiny Dancer, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Daniel, Rocket Man, Levon, I’m Still Standing, Crocodile Rock
BILLY JOEL:
Angry Young Man, Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song), Allentown, Zanzibar, Don’t Ask Me Why, She’s Always a Woman, Scenes from an Italian Restaurant, River of Dreams, We Didn’t Start the Fire, It’s Still Rock ‘n’ Roll to Me, Only the Good Die Young
ENCORE WITH JOEL AND JOHN:
I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues, Uptown Girl, The Bitch Is Back, You May Be Right, Bennie and the Jets, Birthday, Back in the U.S.S.R., Candle in the Wind, Piano Man

How I resist Edward Cullen…or…Isn’t my garlic awesome?

Fun, Garden,


Some folks know that I am addicted to the Twilight series of books.  Basically, they are about a girl’s experience with a family of vampires, including one vampire named Edward who is incredibly handsome, smart, charming, etc…you know, all the stuff that guys typically aren’t.  I read the books and saw the first movie.  Edward is indeed a dreamy bugger.  Fortunately, I am a married man and also have my secret weapon… 

I planted just shy of one ton of garlic last fall.  It seems that most of it has done very well and will be ready for harvest later this summer.  Garlic is so fun to watch grow.  It starts in the fall and shows itself but then dies back over winter.  Early in the spring though, you will see it poking back up through the dirt and by late spring, it produces large, hardy onion-like leaves.  In a month or so, it shoots up scapes full of little garlic seeds (if you let it go that far.  The scapes are good to eat on their own).  It sort of looks prehistoric to me.  Anyhow, prior to growing our own, we never really used garlic much.  Once you try fresh garlic, though, you’ll never go back.  We use it in everything.  We can with it, we cook with it.  We even bake heads of garlic in olive oil to make a quick and easy spread for on bread (pour olive oil in between the cloves that you separate slightly, leaving them still mostly attached.  Bake at 350 until they are tender…maybe 30 minutes…serve the  cloves with bread.  Once baked, they are spreadable).

All this food talk is nice, but the most important thig about garlic is it’s effect on vampires.  I wear garlic around my neck to ward off Edward Cullen and his ilk.  As much as I like Edward, I am pretty sure that I prefer my human form and plan to stay that way!  If you have a Twilight addiction like me, I recommend you plant some garlic this fall!