Emily and I were married a long time ago…back when she was young.  She had good teeth, clear eyes, and a shiny coat….I checked her out pretty well before signing on the line.  As she approaches middle age however, stuff appears to be failing.  The week she turned 36, she went to the doctor complaining of being unable to hear out of one ear.  The doctor did various tests and discovered that she has otosclerosis .  The Cliff-notes version of otosclerosis is that the bones of her middle ear are calcifying and fusing. So far, it is only occurring in one ear but has left her with only 50% of her hearing in that ear.

So the doctor diagnosed her and, trying to reassure her, said, "It’s most commonly diagnosed in middle aged white women who have had children." Oops…not a smart move.  Doctors before this one have made the mistake of tangling with this woman.  "Excuse me?", she said.  That poor man is still stammering…

Anyhow, she was not a candidate for hearing aids since she is losing her hearing so quickly.  She had to visit a surgeon to evaluate the possibility of a stapedectomy which is what we are doing today.  Basically, if all goes well, Emily will be having a prosthetic middle ear installed today…she’s gonna be bionic!  She’ll be ear-resistable!

UPDATE #1 :  12:00 pm – we are in the room and Emily is all buck naked except for the gown they gave her.  We have the only room with a window.  Unfortunately, the room looks right onto Chapman’s Mortuary…that doesn’t seem too great to Emily.

UPDATE #2 4:45 pm – Emily is back in the room.  She went back to the "holding pen" at 1:30 and they did the magic they do back there I guess…I suspect they must have run her through a car wash, just to de-coot-ify her.  She made it into the OR at 2:35 and the surgery actually started at 3:00.  Around 4:15 the doctor reported to me that all went well and that she has a plastic and nickel piston installed in place of her stapes – a bone of the middle ear.  The best thing is that I get a warranty card for her bionics!  Anyhow, she is awake and aware and doing fine!  She reports that she can in fact hear better already!

So, anyhow, here is a video of what this surgery looks like if you are interested:

If seeing surgery isn’t your thing, check out these dancing monkeys:

If dancing monkeys aren’t your thing, check out this guy dancing:

You really gotta check out this video…seriously!

Today is Way-back Whens-day so it’s time to look back through the old archives.  I found a number of pictures of me as a baby…

The first picture of me!

Time to go home!

Nap time!

Supper time!

The Family – phase 1!

Grandpa and me – back when everyone wore ties?

My First Birthday!

It’s so strange to see my parents and grandparents as…well…young people.  The thing that scares me is that someday my kids will have the same feeling!  My poor wife, she is aging!  All the years with me are taking their toll…joking…I am just joking!

I am fortunate.  I grew up a mere mile from my maternal grandparents.  They were ever present in my childhood and a huge influence in my life.  These pics are somewhat about my grandparents and somewhat about their place.  Their house was nothing special compared to others but it surely means a lot to me.

We didn’t have lots when we were growing up but my Mom and Grandma made these halloween costumes for my brother and me out of paper bags.  I remember going to Jamesway (a local precursor to Wal Mart) the next town over to get bags that would fit.  I remember walking around to find paints and my mom and grandma working to get our costumes ready for Halloween.  We always colored Easter eggs together…I can even still smell my Grandma’s kitchen as she canned pickles.

You can see in the background the 1960s set of encyclopedias that my brother and I studied and studied.  It was our outlet to the world.  Every time we visited, we pulled out one of the volumes and just started reading…we went to the moon and under the sea and around the world in those books.  It was our ticket to everywhere!

I only vaguely remember my great-Grandma Gardner but I am pictured with her here.  Across the road from my Grandparents’ house was the tastee-freeze.  On every visit, she would slowly walk back to her room at my Grandparents’ house to get a dollar for me and my brother to get ice cream.  It was the best ice cream on Earth (trust me…I loooked it up in the encyclopedias!)

I grew up in NW PA where the snow comes off Lake Erie by the bushel.  When I was younger, everyone had snowmobiles.  My Grandparents, like everyone, had snowmobiles.  I don’t honestly know if I ever rode their machines, but I remember the wonderful stories of their riding on the land behind them.  I remember walking in the woods with my Dad and Grandpa and seeing birds and trees and magnificent piles of deer poop.  Nature was everywhere in these woods.

There’s almost nothing as good as looking at pictures of “back home”.  With the current uncertainty in the world today, I am certainly glad to have so many wonderful memories to hold on to.  Welcome to my “back home”.

disclaimer:  I am under the weather so I am actively participating in my own recovery plan.  Any resemblance between these stories and real life people or events is merely a coincidence

I grew up in the water.  In my hometown, there is a large earthen dam which was built in 1940 to help with flood control on the Allegheny River.  The outflow from the dam forms a really cool creek/small river that has been called the beach since forever.  It really is sort of beachy since it has imported sand, a lifeguard chair, and a concession stand.

Anyhow, since the age of 4 or so, my Mom took my brother and me to the beach every single weekday.  A few days ago, I mentioned that we were outside all summer long.  Part of that was facilitated by our daily trips to the beach where we soaked up tons of vitamin d as we played, unprotected, in the sun.

Part of the beach experience was swimming lessons.  We took swimming lessons 2 or 3 days a week all summer, every summer.  My brother and I became proficient swimmers in the murky, sometimes fast moving, freezing cold water of the outflow of Tionesta Creek.  I worked as a lifeguard at a pool all through college but that was about my only experience with a pool.  We were river rats…we lived in the river and drank enough of it to be part fish.

We have no such opportunity for my kids and it just doesn’t seem right that my kids are not yet great swimmers.  The kids’ aunt and uncle paid for swimming lessons at the local rec-center and we’ve enjoyed watching the kids learn to swim.  Isaac has actually gotten pretty good, due especially to his frequent swim trips with his summer camp friends.  He is actually the most proficient swimmer in the class which leads me to the funny part.  The last 2 classes, the instructor has tried to get the kids to jump in the deep end.  Most of the smaller kids have “manned up” and done it but poor Isaac hasn’t yet found his nerve.  I took this video of him preparing to jump in this weekend.  It’s worth the download time to watch!  I love that little boy!

So, my kids are not yet river rats…they are more like pool mice…but they are well on their way and I am proud!