Tag Archives: Fun

I’m not George Bush

Fun, Garden,

Back when the first George Bush was president, he (somewhat) famously said, “I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.”  In fact, he went so far as to ban broccoli from the White House and Air Force One menus.

Truly, it was a sad day in American history.  In a brilliant move, broccoli growers shipped 10 tons of the stuff to the White House (which was refused and later donated to food banks).  The funny thing is that the popularity of broccoli grew after President Bush’s statement.  I guess it sort of follows his presidency really.  No wonder he wasn’t re-elected!  It all started with his distaste for broccoli…the American people could not tolerate such a a trait in a President!

I never realized, but broccoli is very important in American politics and appears to swing elections every cycle.  Discussion of broccoli started back in Roman times but first figured into American politics when Thomas Jefferson wrote about it.  Let’s see, Jefferson, one of our most foundational leaders loved broccoli…yes, George Bush should have choked it down and followed after Jefferson!

We harvested our first broccoli the other day and it was delicious!  I have long been a proud broccoli-eater and am delighted to have fresh available again!  I think it is pretty clear…along the Presidential continuum, I am much closer to a Thomas Jefferson than a George Bush!

Our pal Franco Harris

Fun, WV,

Emily works at Piedmont Elementary, an inner-city school in Charleston, WV.  The kids there are ethnically diverse and a great number come from poverty homes.  In spite of those issues (and they are many), there are so many great things about the school.  The staff generally want to be there (because you wouldn’t stay if you didn’t), and the principal has a passion for doing whatever is best for the kids.  Piedmont is one of only a few year round schools in WV, thanks to the principal’s passion to serve the kids.  Year round school gives the kids consistency and at least 2 regular meals year round.

Mr Knighton, the principal also knows a lot of people.  Yesterday, one of his contacts delivered.  Franco Harris of the famous Immaculate Reception and the Super Bowl-ring-heavy Pittsburgh Steelers was speaking in Charleston yesterday and had some free time.  Mr Knighton’s friend was able to schedule some time for the Piedmont kids to meet Franco Harris and he delivered a talk on eating right, making wise choices, etc.  The kids, none of whom were alive when Franco played football, enjoyed the talk and the chance to meet a football great!  It was a great treat for the kids and the staff (who DO remember when he played!)

Emily was able to have Franco Harris sign my Steelers hat which has taken its rightful position on my pillow, right beside my head.  He was very gracious to all the kids who had questions and wanted autographs as well.  I absolutely dig it when sports stars come back to Earth and do great things for people who need it.

So what about you…do you have any autographs or stories of famous folks?

Brace Face

Fun


I have crooked, messed up teeth.  I have had them since before I can really remember.  I suppose my baby teeth must have been crooked as well.  Why would a person be lucky enough to have straight baby teeth only to be plagued by crooked adult teeth?  Huh…come to think of it, that is exactly how the world seems to work.  Anyhow, I have crooked teeth.  They are chipped and mangled and ugly.

Emily has been bugging me for years to see an orthodontist to get them straightened.  Since she means so much to me, I went to the orthodontist after only 11 years of “discussion”.  That’s really pretty quick all things considered.  Anyhow, the orthodontic staff stretched my face in all sorts of unnatural ways and took all sorts of pictures at angles sure to accentuate the crookedness of my chompers.  I suppose the hideousness of my appearance was supposed to shock me into wanting to fix my teeth.  I fooled them though…my wife scared me into it…they had no effect!

As a part of the examination, I got a few x-rays taken.  I know no one would believe my story unless I showed you the proof.  If you’ll notice, the shot of my skull does not show a hollow space.  There is something inside and it does not appear to be either rocks or marbles!

Since I am an adult and I get the pleasure of paying for whatever orthodontia I choose, I decided to get invisible braces.  I signed up for Invisalign straighteners that are supposed to be essentially invisible and as effective as normal braces if used properly.  Apparently every couple of weeks I will get new plastic inserts that snap onto my teeth and pull them into alignment over the next 12-18 months.  I will be in no danger of getting my braces stuck to Emily if we ever decide to share a smooch!

The orthodontist promised me I would end up with perfectly straightened teeth.  He plans to smooth out the rough edges and chips I have too.  I protested at first telling him I earned almost every one of those chipped teeth the hard way.  I still need to pay my brother back for most of those knocks…

Anyhow, in 4-8 weeks, I will have my new invisible braces.  I will happily be on my way to new and straightened teeth.  If all goes well, I may jet out to Hollywood and expose my bits to the papparazzi because surely I will be just like a movie star!

EDIT:  Braces are here!

I used to sing backup for Billy Joel

Adventure, Fun,

I started working when I was pretty young. As I recall, I was 13 when I started selling live bait and hunting and fishing equipment in a sporting goods/general store in my home town. We really sold everything there and it was a pretty fun place to work. We worked hard but we played pretty hard too.

I worked in college and graduated a semester early. While waiting to marry Emily, I moved to her hometown and worked several jobs. It started with Red Lobster. I was hired as a server. I worked my first night and told them I wouldn’t be back the next day. I had found a better gig afterall. I was to be a shift manager at Taco Bell. I worked there for 4 days and found an even better gig (hard to imagine, I know) so I moved to a position as an “electrical schmuck” at Lowes. I stayed there for 2 months or so and moved to a garden nursery where I worked 1 week. By this time, Emily was pretty concerned about who she was marrying. I was obviously unstable and a “roamer”. My final gig that summer was at a feed store in Charleston where I think I worked harder than I ever had before. All of these jobs did give me a good appreciation for what it meant to work and what I didn’t want to do for a living.

So we went to graduate school where I taught some math and computer classes to make a few bucks in addition to the research I was doing. I have had a few regular jobs since school including the one at which I work now.

All of these other jobs were nothing compared to my favorite job (so far). This weekend, Emily and I went to Cleveland, OH to hear Billy Joel and Elton John in their Face 2 Face tour. Emily and I both sang backup vocals for the two entertainers! We were brilliant at it really. Billy himself commented at how we were right on key!

Ok…so all that is to say that we, along with 20,000 other folks , went to hear Elton and Billy play an awesome 3 and a half hour concert! The Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland was sold out and very much packed. The crowd went absolutely nuts when Billy and Elton’s pianos rose from the stage and they walked on. It was incredible! Billy was absolutely every bit as good as I had hoped. I have been a huge fan since high school and was not disappointed in the wait to hear him! He was funny and engaging and a phenomenal entertainer (doesn’t he have a song about that? 🙂 ). I would go and see him again without hesitation. Billy and Elton together were very good as well. They played back and forth and had fun keying off of each other. Elton by himself was not stellar which was disappointing. Still, I am glad I got to see him as well.

Anyhow, the crowd was absolutely into the show. We had pretty great seats but that didn’t keep the “interesting” folks out. Let me just say that I am thankful that my wife is not a drunken-lap-dancing-ho like the girl next to us was. Enough said… But the rest of the crowd (save the one person who was burning something herbal) was tremendous. My ears rang and I was dizzy from the roar of the crowd. All-in-all, it was a fantastic show and a great weekend! I am certain that my favorite job was my time as a rock and roll star…or at least doing the backup vocals for a rock and roll star!

Just for reference, here is the set they played:
BILLY JOEL AND ELTON JOHN:
Your Song, Just the Way You Are, Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me, My Life
ELTON JOHN:
Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding, Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting, Burn Down the Mission, Madman Across the Water, Tiny Dancer, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Daniel, Rocket Man, Levon, I’m Still Standing, Crocodile Rock
BILLY JOEL:
Angry Young Man, Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song), Allentown, Zanzibar, Don’t Ask Me Why, She’s Always a Woman, Scenes from an Italian Restaurant, River of Dreams, We Didn’t Start the Fire, It’s Still Rock ‘n’ Roll to Me, Only the Good Die Young
ENCORE WITH JOEL AND JOHN:
I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues, Uptown Girl, The Bitch Is Back, You May Be Right, Bennie and the Jets, Birthday, Back in the U.S.S.R., Candle in the Wind, Piano Man

How I resist Edward Cullen…or…Isn’t my garlic awesome?

Fun, Garden,


Some folks know that I am addicted to the Twilight series of books.  Basically, they are about a girl’s experience with a family of vampires, including one vampire named Edward who is incredibly handsome, smart, charming, etc…you know, all the stuff that guys typically aren’t.  I read the books and saw the first movie.  Edward is indeed a dreamy bugger.  Fortunately, I am a married man and also have my secret weapon… 

I planted just shy of one ton of garlic last fall.  It seems that most of it has done very well and will be ready for harvest later this summer.  Garlic is so fun to watch grow.  It starts in the fall and shows itself but then dies back over winter.  Early in the spring though, you will see it poking back up through the dirt and by late spring, it produces large, hardy onion-like leaves.  In a month or so, it shoots up scapes full of little garlic seeds (if you let it go that far.  The scapes are good to eat on their own).  It sort of looks prehistoric to me.  Anyhow, prior to growing our own, we never really used garlic much.  Once you try fresh garlic, though, you’ll never go back.  We use it in everything.  We can with it, we cook with it.  We even bake heads of garlic in olive oil to make a quick and easy spread for on bread (pour olive oil in between the cloves that you separate slightly, leaving them still mostly attached.  Bake at 350 until they are tender…maybe 30 minutes…serve the  cloves with bread.  Once baked, they are spreadable).

All this food talk is nice, but the most important thig about garlic is it’s effect on vampires.  I wear garlic around my neck to ward off Edward Cullen and his ilk.  As much as I like Edward, I am pretty sure that I prefer my human form and plan to stay that way!  If you have a Twilight addiction like me, I recommend you plant some garlic this fall!

Pictures of my wife in the bathtub

Fun, House,

Hey, what kind of pervert are you anyhow? Did you really think I would put those kind of pictures on my blog? Well, yeah, I see your point. I mean, with a title like that, what should I expect, right?

Just kidding my blog friends. I thought I would share with you what I got Emily for Mother’s day while at the East End yard sale last weekend. Yes, you read that right, I got her Mother’s day present at a yard sale…the day before Mother’s day. I am that kind of guy.

I have mentioned before that our house was built in 1939. A lot of the house is still reminiscent of 1939 but the main bathroom screams 1985. It was a good year, no doubt, but as bathrooms go, it was not a bright age. There is a gawd-awful garden tub that we can’t even fill with our hot water tank (let alone afford to fill it)! There is way too much wood and a good heaping scoop of ugly on top just to tie it all together. We started tearing into the bathroom just because we were sick of looking at the ugly (plus I accidentally drilled a hole in the waste pipe from the upstairs bathroom that ran through this bathroom…but that’s another story). Anyhow, we have plans to modernize our bathroom in an old fashioned style. The garden tub is out of the question. The ugly bits everywhere must go. We hope to make it similar to how it might have looked when it was built. But before I can fix up the bathroom, I need to jack up and level the floors, install new windows and do all sorts of work on the floor below.

Ok, so that’s a long-winded way of saying that the bathroom is on the list but won’t be getting fixed super soon. Imagine my surprise as I walked down Quarrier Street on Charleston’s East End and saw a glorious claw-foot bathtub out in a front yard. I have seen all sorts of claw-foot tubs around with crazy prices and lots of dents and bruises. I was certain that I was going to have to settle for a beater or else spend thousands of dollars to get a new faux-antique tub which sort of ruined my idea of old and cool (and it especially offended my sense of thrift). I tentatively approached this mirage-tub. Surely my eyes were deceiving me. The price…too good to be true. It’s condition…in need of a new finish but without structural blemish. Did I mention the price? I didn’t want to look too desperate, hoping to get a deal. I ran right up to the homeowner and fell at his knees, begging him to let me buy his tub. He smiled and chomped down on his cigar, preparing to deal. We came to an agreement and I came back later with 3 men and two small boys to help me load this widow-maker into the back of my man-van. If it weighs 5 pounds, it weighs 400.

We managed to get the tub back out of the van and into my front lawn (in perfect style!) where it will have to sit until I get the main bathroom in such condition that the floor will support the weight and there is room to install the tub (i.e. we get that garden tub out of the bathroom and into the front yard). In the meantime, we’ll enjoy our front yard tub and rest easy knowing that we scored the coolest claw-foot tub in the United States!

Weekend Update

Fun, Thoughts,

Even though it rained a bunch leading up to this weekend, it seems like we got a bunch done and had a lot of fun this weekend.  Soccer games were cancelled this weekend.  We practiced on Thursday evening and it was a muddy mess.  Mosquitoes swarmed around us as we mucked through the swamp-field.  I am sure I will lose half my team to malaria or yellow fever or something.  Honestly, we would have been better off to play bare-foot so we could at least enjoy the mud squishing through our toes…sort of like playing in the cow pasture.  

Anyhow, games were cancelled so I went to the East End yard sale.  The East End of Charleston is a strange area of the city.  Most of the East End is filled with huge old homes that were probably pretty upscale 75 years ago.  Several streets remain that way, populated mostly by professionals and artists and such.  A few streets back from those however, a rougher element lives.  Anyhow, the East End had a yard sale this weekend and I suppose there were thousands of people in attendance…including me.  More on what I found in another post, but it was great buying other peoples’ junk!  I was able to get part of Emily’s Mother’s Day present at the yard sale!

We planted cushaw squash last year and have stored 4 in our kitchen since we harvested them last August.  They seemed to have kept perfectly, but we verified it this weekend.  Emily made more cushaw squash pie and it was delicious!  It was just as moist and perfect this weekend as it was when we first harvested it.  If you want a good keeper, definitely plant cushaw squash!

Last year we bought a reel mower.  We wanted something that would be environmentally friendly, cheap to operate and sort of fail-proof.  Sure enough, most of it is metal with little to break…that’s little to break, not nothing to break.  The only plastic on the thing is a set of arms that hold the cutting height adjustment (i.e. a roller that holds everything at the right angle/height).  It broke and rendered the mower useless.  Being one to over-engineer/over-build, I bought some angle-iron and built new roller arms.  They are now guaranteed not to break!  I also added a new steel axle so we should be good to mow!  Of course, with all of our rain, the grass was too thick to mow with it so I weed-whacked the entire yard which was such a delight!

Finally, Abigail lost her second tooth on Sunday and had a visit from the tooth fairy.  She had been holding out on pulling the tooth but she bit into a peanut butter sandwich and it hurt enough that she finally let me pull it…and without a fuss!  The tooth fairy again visited and performed her duty as per union rules for tooth-fairy local 107 here in Charleston, WV!

So, all-in-all, it was a great weekend and we had a lot of fun!  What did you get into this weekend?

Mr. Hilton

Fun, Thoughts,

This week is Teacher Appreciation Week.  We don’t celebrate this holiday with too many presents or special songs, but I think it is interesting to consider the role that some of my teachers played in my future.  I know that the teachers my kids have now (and ones they have had) are making a huge impact on their lives.  Both kids absolutely love their teachers this year and have learned so much under their watch.

I had a few wonderful teachers that shaped me, but probably my all time favorite teacher was Mr. Hilton.  We had some weird transitions and chaos as East Hickory Elementary merged with Tionesta Elementary, but I received a huge benefit as I had Mr. Hilton for both 4th and 5th grades.  He inspired my curiosity.  We did all sorts of interesting projects on physical and earth science.  I remember spending all sorts of time in the science room where there were closets and shelves and shelves full of formaldehyde-filled jars with creatures of every sort.  There were containers of chemicals and bottles of mysteries.  We didn’t recklessly play with stuff but were taught to investigate.  We learned about economics (he used a token system to reward behavior and hard work) and greed and power struggles and how hard work pays off.

Later on in high school, Mr. Hilton became Coach Hilton.  I played soccer in high school and he was my soccer coach.  We weren’t always the best team but he encouraged us to do our best and to have a lot of fun in the meantime.  

Finally, I worked closely with Mr. Hilton’s son and daughter at the bait/sporting goods/grocery/movie/ice cream/general store where we all worked.  His son and I, in particular, had a tremendous amount of fun and a little bit of trouble.  I deer hunted with he and his family and came to enjoy his company apart from school as well.  It’s not common to have a teacher who can also be a friend as well as a mentor, but Mr. Hilton accomplished much of that for me.

So, here’s to you Mr Hilton!  Thanks for being a great teacher!  I still appreciate your hard work!

Ok…I have to stop or he may get a big head if he reads this.  But I do sincerely hope that you had an awesome teacher somewhere in your growing up that inspired you.  If you can, let them know.  I am sure they will appreciate it!

 And now, our next candidate for teacher of the century…

Derby Day

Family, Fun,

We moved to Kentucky right after we got married.  Our first place was a 450 sq ft or so apartment into which we pack 900 sq ft of furniture.  We had no money (but I still had my motorcycle then!),  but were too young to know any better.   Anyhow, we made some really fantastic friends and had a really great time in KY.  One of our favorite things about KY was how everyone turned out for University of Kentucky basketball and for the Kentucky Derby.  It was, somehow, more important than Groundhog Day even.  Emily’s family here in WV also enjoyed watching the KY derby.  

Now that we are back, we get to enjoy the family time and share a few traditions with the gang!  Most importantly, we always eat KFC chicken in anticipation of the Derby.  Someone grabs a huge bucket of chicken and all the sides to boot.  We eat too much and sit around commenting on the different horses.  We place our “bets” and get all the back stories on the jockies or trainers.  Mostly we laugh at the women in their crazy hats in the stands.  I always laugh at their attempts to look elegant while holding one-too-many mint juleps.

Anyhow, to be a part of the party, we also wear hats.  Everyone makes their own hat, the more ridiculous the better.  We recycle lots of things, but we never recycle our hats…every year sees a new creation!  Anyhow, this year I went with the first bright idea I had for my hat!


(We picked Mine that Bird all along, by the way…I even took a picture to prove it!)

Last year we made mint juleps which were interesting.  I think it must help the flavor to get a few of them in you before you comment.  I was not terribly impressed.  Of course, we didn’t use glacial ice or anything special.  Our ice came from the Muddy Elk River and the mint came from my back yard.  Anyhow, this year Emily’s mom made derby pie which, oh my goodness, you have to try…

Derby Pie

Ingredients
1 cup chocolate chips
1 cup pecans, coarsely chopped
1 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs, large
1/2 cup self-rising flour
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 stick butter, melted
1 unbaked pie shell

Directions
Preheat oven to 350.
Combine flour and sugar.
Add eggs, one at a time, then vanilla and melted butter.
Stir in chocolate chips and nuts.
Pour into pie shell and bake for 30-40 minutes.
Let cool to set.

We love Derby time and I always feel like it marks an important milestone in spring.  It’s great fun to So did you watch the derby?  Do you have any silly traditions that you hold for some event, Derby or otherwise?

Swedish Fish

Fun, History, Thoughts, ,

When I was a kid, we used to spend every day at the Tionesta beach. It was wonderful basking in the sun, preparing ourselves for skin cancer, learning about swimming and other kids and fish and crawdads.  One of my favorite memories of the beach was the concession stand.  They sold all sorts of junk there and we got a quarter to spend each day.

They sold frozen candy bars and popscicles and fun-dip and wacky wafers.  I love sugary candy.  It’s a terrible weakness that I still carry.  Probably my all time favorite thing to buy was swedish fish.  I guess they were a precursor to gummy-bears?  Anyhow, I like the red ones.  They sold swedish fish at the beach for a penny each….bag included!  Just about every day, I would get a little sandwich bag full of 25 swedish fish…the red ones.  

I have eaten them since then, but it is fairly uncommon for me nowadays.  The other day though, I was passing through a store and saw a bag of swedish fish.  The are significantly more expensive now than the used to be.  I didn’t count, but I suppose they cost at least 2 pennies each now.  Anyhow, I bought a bag…the red ones.  I ate the whole bag by myself the day I bought  them.  That’s right, 1400 calories of red sugary goodness!  I skipped breakfast and lunch and figure I broke even for the day.

I got another bag a few days later and spaced them out a bit.  I figured that buying swedish fish this way wasn’t sustainable though.  I decided to try my hand at a breeding program.  I looked very carefully and choose a male and female swedish fish and put them in a fishbowl I had laying around at the house.  I do have some experience with fish reproduction (a story for another time), so I figure it ought to be a piece of cake.  Anyhow, I expect to be up to my eyes in swedish fish in just a few days.  I’ll be taking orders soon!

Do you have anything from your childhood like in which you still indulge now and then?