Category Archives: Fun

Guns…and dogs…and trucks

Adventure, Family, Fun, WV, , ,

Sounds like a country song doesn’t it?  You know, we lived in Nashville for 10 years or so and came away from the experience with a real interest in country music.  We like most sorts of music really, but country was only added after being around it for so long.

Anyhow, back to the point – guns.  The other two things came right out of my stream of consciousness.  Sometimes I get going on something and I can only tell I have gone off on a goose chase when I see others’ eyes glaze over.  It’s quite maddening really.  See, there I go again – off on a tangent.  So, guns…Isaac got a .22 rifle from Santa (sounds like a country Santa doesn’t it?)  He had been asking for a pellet gun but Santa figured he would outgrow that pretty quickly.  I know some folks might find it horrifying that Santa brought my son a gun but we are in WV and it is a part of the culture around these parts.  And besides that, I grew up in a similar culture so we’ll absolutely know how to properly use and care for a gun.  Rats, another tangent.

Last weekend we found a break in the weather and headed to the rifle range in Kanawha State Forest.  I had always heard that a person should not shoot there unless they are pretty well drunk, and it’s been a long time since I was there.  We took a chance though and found it in full use and very well managed by the folks who were shooting (i.e. it is not managed by anyone other than whoever happens to be shooting).  Everyone did a great job and we had a great time shooting.

We shot some at a paper target but really enjoyed the spinner target Isaac also got from Santa.  It was a lot of fun…until Isaac shot it right at the pivot point and filled the fulcrum point with lead – heck of a shot really.  Anyhow, Isaac now has his first gun and we had a great time shooting together!

Curing my beardaphobia

Fun

You may remember that I started growing a beard back on the first of November.  It is a thing my Dad and/or brother started where beards are grown from November ’til sometime around Christmas and then are shaved.  We went to my brother’s house a few weeks ago and for me, it was time to shave off that mangy thing…

Brother, Dad, and me
Pre-trim...geez, do I look like that in the mirror?
Holy crap does it hurt to shave a beard!

When I came out of the bathroom with this look, Abigail honestly freaked and said, “You look like a maniac!  Get away from me!”   She acted as though she was truly a little freaked out by my appearance.  She’s a smart kid…proved again!

I think this look should be called "circus strongman"
Hmmmm.....
Hmmmmm...continued
Ahhhh....the lifeblood - a quart of Mt Dew!

Ok, so, as I look back over this, I think I might be pretty vain.  I have to tell you though, I am so glad to be rid of the squirrel as Emily calls it.  Some people look awesome in a beard but I don’t have their strength of character or whatever it is that they have to put up with it.  I am once again clean shaven and shall remain so…at least until November!

Redneck Games

Family, Fun

Christmas has been a 2+ week thing for us this year.  Last weekend, we hung out with my family at my brother’s place.  This weekend, we stayed at home and did Christmas around our area with Emily’s family.  It was a great Christmas for us and the kids.  It was quiet yesterday and we just sort of took it easy…to recover.

You see, in the weeks prior, we (meaning me mainly) have been participating in the redneck games (as my brother-in-law termed it).  The first good snow a couple of weeks ago found us sled riding at my BIL’s house where there is a most excellent hill.  It’s hard enough to walk on in good weather which makes it dang near impossible in snow…which makes it the perfect sled-riding hill!  We went up and down a number of times in the usual way.  We went feet first and head first.  We tried sitting and laying.  Being one who folks can count on to act a fool, it occurred to me that we hadn’t tried standing up.

Yeah, it didn’t last long.  I rode a few short rides until my bones suggested that I had better knock it off.  I guess it looked pretty white-trash for me (still in full beard) to jump on a big plastic sled clearly not rated for stand-up usage.  I guess it could have only been better if I had a car hood to ride.  It was one of those, “hold on to my beer and watch this” sort of things (yes the hill is that steep) .

No bones were broken during that episode of redneck games so I tried again at my brother’s place.  He has a new 4-wheeler that seemed like it needed to be tested.  There was a little bit of snow on the ground…maybe 2-3 inches when we arrived at his place on Friday night.  We exchanged pleasantries and then got right to the destruction of his yard.  You see, we are both somewhat city-dwellers nowadays but we come from solid redneck roots and a 4 wheeler seriously magnifies that tendency.  We spun his machine around and drove all sorts of stupid (don’t tell my mom or kids or wife though).  Neighbors drove by and cheered us on (I figure they could see lights slinging around…plus it was 11pm when we stopped) which was all the encouragement I needed.  We only have pictures of the daytime riding when the kids were around…probably a good thing.

Ahhhh…the holidays are so nice!

Give me a sign

Family, Fun, Thoughts, ,

We spent last weekend with my family at my brother’s place in MD.  We had all sorts of fun but I’ll tell you about that later.  So, Sunday, we were travelling back home to West-by-God-Virginia and had to make various pit-stops.  We stopped some for drinks or snacks, some for “rest” and some to shop.  Well, I don’t really shop much so I’d say our stop at the outlet mall in Flatwoods, WV was more to buy.  Anyhow, as Isaac and I walked into one store, we came upon a sign.  It’s funny…I love that the kids “get” stuff now.  Isaac looked at me, and I looked at him and he started laughing at the wording.  Lots of stuff ran through my head including the importance of words and education and planning, but I think that it was all apparent to Isaac, even if only subconsciously.  He saw the mistakes that were made in that sign and understood why words matter.  Of course, I think he takes that to mean that he shouldn’t write any more than is absolutely necessary.  He loves to talk but trying to get that boy to hand-write a note is like pulling weeds…with your teeth.  Anyhow, I am pretty proud to say that he can properly use “they’re”, “there”, and “their” and that he knew that the wording of the sign was completely wrong.

During one of our stops, we pulled into a rest area someplace near the top of the world (or so it seemed).  The rest area had a great view so we took a few minutes to observe before our ears froze.  After getting our fill of the landscape, we walked into the place and they had signs around including this one…

I don’t think it ever would have  occurred to me that the appliance before me was a water fountain.  Again, Isaac looked at me and I at him and we both just busted out laughing!  I am pretty germ-a-phobic (which is weird since I am not dainty about much of anything) so I am pretty glad we had alcohol hand sanitizer (which we call germ wash) in the car.  Honestly, I use the stuff every time I enter my car.  Weird, huh?  Anyhow, we subdued our thirst and pressed on towards home.

Here's the view where the water was not for drinking...

We had a great trip all around, but I think one of my favorite parts was this ride home.  It’s cool how the simplest of times with the family can make for the best of times!

Don’t jump! Just fly!

Fun, WV,

A few weeks ago, right before Thanksgiving, we had a paper airplane flying contest from the roof of our building.  We have done this a few years now and I, of course, aways win.  Well, I won this year anyhow!  That may seem like a small feat (considering how awesome I am) but this year’s competition was stiff.

My entries...

You see, it’s all about the rules.  Here are the rules:

<crickets chirping>

Simple, see?  It’s all about the rules.  I had several entries (which is well within the rules…see above).  One guy shot his plane from a paintball gun (and though appearing impressive, it can only be described as fail).  One guy threw a box top as far as he could.  Several folks had “engineered” planes and several had old fashioned detention-earning planes.

We set up a windsock so that participants could properly prepare for field conditions.  Let me tell you, atop our building, it was windy!  Anyhow, as usual, several planes ended up in the nearby trees while others crashed immediately into the building.  Like a rocket, my plane (well, one of the four) just eased out of the gate and cruised onto an impressive victory…it was effortless!

So, I also produced some prizes for various categories as well.   Windshield washer fluid went to the plane that cleaned up (except I could not give the prize to myself).   The…uh…plane with the most fail got milkduds.  The plane that opened up a can of whooping on others got  matching pair of can openers.  Not only do the planes make for a lot of fun, I also get to heap on a huge pile of trash-talk.  Just as a precaution, I always stand back plenty far from the edge.  I’d hate to think my fellow fliers might want to test the effects of gravity on the mouthy one of the bunch…

A dream come true

Fun,

I was once  a little kid.  I had hopes.  I had dreams. Well, I guess I still do.  Anyhow, yesterday was my birthday and my wife, being a kind and benevolent wife, sought to fulfill one of my childhood dreams.  I have wanted a pair of cowboy boots since I was in the 2nd grade.  I loved the pointy toes and the fancy stitching and I especially liked boots made out of exotic and wild creatures.  Boots were never terribly practical though, not being a cowboy.

Just so you don’t think I was deprived as a child, I’ll tell you another childhood dream that was fulfilled…I wanted calf-high green gumboots and by golly, I had green gumboots as a kid.  I wore them all day, every day in school.  But still, I longed for cowboy boots.

Fast forward 30-some years and we were driving around in Ripley, WV.  We saw a sign that said something like, “Warren, buy cowboy boots here”…something like that.  So, on one trip, Emily took me there to get me some boots for my birthday.  I searched and searched and found that they basically had size 8 boots…that’s about it…only size 8.  I wear size 10.  I thought my dreams were about to be crushed as we stumbled out into the parking lot.  I gazed across the valley and to what did my wondering eyes appear but a Tractor Supply store with a sign for John Deere.

Oh, I danced a little bit on the inside (as I never dance on the outside…not in public anyhow) and I skipped down the hill and across the highway to TSC. Well, not really, but in my bliss, I sort of forget the actual driving part.  I walked in the and the only thing I saw was the boot section…they had sizes other than size 8!  Emily claims I was as bad as shopping with a woman which is really pretty funny when you consider it.  I tried on many boots and finally decided on a pair.

And just when I thought my life was complete, I spotted a Carhartt jacket on sale.  Could my life get any better?  I think not!

Warrenizing – the beard

Awesome, Fun

So it’s been 24 days since I started to make the change…from handsome clean-shaven upstanding citizen Warren to bearded, Jacob the werewolf-like (def Team Jacob in our house), Adonis Warren.  I can’t say that I really like the beard in most ways.  It itches and tickles my nose (if I were actually ticklish, but that’s soft) and catches food that I’d rather see fall to the floor.  It’s also 7 hairs grayer than it was last year.  I guess I do enjoy the fact that my morning preparation time has gone from  9 minutes to 7 though.  I am pretty sure that Emily brushes her teeth longer than it takes me to go from bed to out the door.

Some people just look better with a beard and some look better without.  I can’t decide which way I look more awesome.  I do know that when I am wrestling the kids, the beard is a great advantage though.  If the kids have me pinned down, I can always drag this beard across their skin and they leap back as if a big hairy rat brushed against them.  It’s a great weapon.  Seph is drawn to the beard too.  You may remember that Seph is the little orange kitten I found moments after being born.  I hand-nursed him back to health and now he is a regular (though not normal) cat.  But, you see, he never had a proper mom experience.  He was never properly weaned or any of that.  He still has issues with wanting to nurse on things…my beard included!  Yeah, I am not too much into that.  I’ll tell you though, it’s a sure way to make sure I wake up and get straight out of bed!

Well, regardless of how the Warrenizing of the beard goes, the most fun part comes when it is time to shave it all off…in sections.  Of course, I’ll have pictures of the event proving I have no dignity whatsoever!  Happy Thanksgiving!

OCD eggs

Fun, Thoughts,

About a year ago I first disclosed my wife’s CDO (that’s OCD only in alphabetic order as it should be).  She’s funny about a lot of things including the slots on the screws for switch covers.  I think I bring something to the OCD table too though.  I must have an even number of eggs in the egg carton and they must be distributed in a symmetric pattern in the carton.

Most mornings I cook eggs for Emily and Abigail.  They usually each eat 2 eggs which works in nicely with my OCD needs.  Sometimes, however, Emily will have used an odd number of eggs in something she cooks.  On those days, Emily and Abigail split 5 eggs instead of 4.  An odd number will not abide in my house!

It’s a little crazy but on odd eggs days, I will stop what I am doing and cook something to make it work.  I cannot sleep until it is made right.  Does anyone else share my egg issues?  Do you have anything even remotely similar about which you obsess?

Secret agent man

Family, Fun, History, ,

You folks never knew I had a secret, did you?  Well sure enough, I once had hair.  Yeah, that’s the big secret.  But these pics looks like I almost ended up being a FBI agent in the 80s I think.  I would have had lots of secrets if I had gone that way I think.  And with my memory, you should all be glad that I didn’t let my 1987 career choice take hold…I couldn’t keep my lies from my truths straight.  I honestly couldn’t remember my way out of a wet paper bag!

I have no idea why we were dressed up, but I definitely remember that get-up.  I was especially proud of the knit tie with th squared off bottom…remember those?  I had a ton of them.  I can’t imagine why I was gussied up as I never wear a tie…well, that is unless it’s for a wedding or a funeral.  I figure that either case is the end of a life and worth honoring.  Anyhow, with smiles on our faces (my brother and I were quite the duo), I doubt we were going to either a wedding or a funeral…

I worked with a guy a few years ago who always wished for a return to the days when men wore hats and the world was a bit more civilized.  I am not sure that time ever really existed but wearing hats would surely make for interesting conversation!  It seems like I had a hat just like the one my bother wears in the first picture….hmmm…I think I like nowadays when men don’t wear hats just fine.  What about you?

It’s Novembeard!

Fun,

Have you heard? It’s Novembeard! My brother has long been a supporter of the Novembeard concept. I think he got it from my Dad. Anyhow, I am a late comer but a true believer! I laid my razor down on Halloween and will not drag a blade across my face again until after Christmas.

The beginning...

In addition to being incredibly stylish, I suspect this will save both time and money. My morning “get ready for work” time will drop from 8 minutes to 6 and my water usage will decline in similar fashion. I can keep the heat turned down a degree or two lower and my beard will provide a habitat for small woodland animals. Novembeard is green!

Without a beard...
An artist's rendition of what's to come...

Normally I wouldn’t even consider missing more than a day or two of shaving but for such a special time of year, I am prepared to do what it takes (and I am not even running for public office with that slogan…but I do approve this message) to propagate Novembeard as a national phenomenon. Ladies, gentlemen, children of all ages, please join me in skipping the morning shave and so we can take Novembeard from coast to coast!