Tag Archives: Family

My wife has CDO

November 20, 2009Family, FunFamily, Funwarren

I know that mental health issues are no laughing matter, but I have to tell you about Emily’s OCD, or, as she likes to describe it, her CDO (that’s OCD in alphabetical order). She has all sorts of quirks, but one in particular is especially funny and evident throughout our house.

We’ve been doing some home repairs and replacing stuff that just plain needs replaced. One of those things is the switch and receptacle covers. It’s really a trivial matter unscrewing one or two screws, pulling off the old cover, adding the new, and replacing the screws, right?

Well, it’s a different story in our household with Emily around. I can do the first 3 steps of the process, but Emily insists on putting the screws in place. You see, in our house, the screws can’t simply be replaced….oh, no…they must be installed such that the slot of the screw is perfectly vertical. People are pretty good at determining whether something is vertical. By no means are we perfect, but one would think that “eyeball vertical” would be vertical enough to satisfy Emily’s screw-vertical-slot-OCD. You’d be wrong…

We have outfitted a flathead screwdriver with a small torpedo level so she can be certain that the screws are vertical, “as God intended them to be.” I understand when folks are particular about things. I really do get it. But I also like to have a little fun now and then as well.

So, here’s my experiment. I am about to loosen one of the screws in the switch cover in our bedroom. I’ll time how long it takes her to find and fix the “problem”.

Let’s see, it’s 9:52pm…

HA! 10:19 and the “problem” is fixed! The best part is that she spent 20 minutes going through the rest of the house seeing if I had messed with any other screws!

The rodent war of NW PA

November 12, 2009Family, Fun, NatureFamily, Fun, Naturewarren

My Grandpa is a pretty amazing man. He never cured any mysterious diseases or won a Nobel prize, but he is just clever and patient and a lot of fun…and he ended the Rodent War of NW PA.

I grew up in northwest PA where the chipmunk is the region’s mascot. You see, it is woodsy where my people are. There are miles and miles of trees and not a stoplight or fast food restaurant to be found. Critters sort of run the show there. When I was growing up, we had a bit of a problem with squirrels in the house. My parents used extreme prejudice in the removal of over 30 in one year…inside the house…in their bed, in the bathroom, the living room…everywhere in the house.

So folks in the area live a sort of uneasy coexistence with rodents. Everyone has squirrel problems and war is declared regularly. Actually, they are more like regional outbreaks and minor skirmishes, but tell that to the people on the front lines. Anyhow, most rational people know that they should be cautious as they go to sleep at night. The squirrels are relentless and merciless.

Anyhow, my Grandpa, the pacifist, sought to end the chaos of war in the area so he extended the olive branch to a local chipmunk, a local tribal leader and the spokes-rodent in the area. Slowly and patiently, he enticed the chipmunk closer and closer with sunflower seeds. In time, he was able to feed Edgar Snyder, the chipmunk out of his hand. He named the chipmunk Edgar Snyder after the locally-famous ambulance chaser who had really annoying ads on tv.

Anyhow, Edgar and Grandpa struck up quite a friendship and a relationship based on respect and trust. Edgar would eat from friendly people’s hands. Once in your hand, Edgar could be moved around by gently lifting his tail and shifting his backside. As long as the sunflower seeds lasted, he was happy to stick around.

I was fortunate enough to witness this beautiful thing they had together first hand…literally. I fed Edgar and asked him to send my best regards to his rodent friends. In time, it was apparent that my Grandpa had broken the rodent wars of NW PA. The truce lasted for some time and prosperity returned to the land!

The End of the Innocence

November 10, 2009Family, ThoughtsFamily, Thoughtswarren

I am really struggling with something and, honestly, it has been a long time coming and probably should have happened awhile ago. Isaac is in fourth grade and still very innocent and naive. That is changing as the kids in his class are getting older, but he remains a very sweet boy and so absolutely and wonderfully innocent. I would keep him that way forever, I often think, but I know that neither he nor I really want that. But there is something so pure looking into his eyes and hearing him talk. I truly want to cry when I think of the end of his innocence.

I am not sure when I learned the truth about Old Saint Nick. I am pretty sure I knew in second grade. Isaac truly still plans to ask Santa for things this Christmas. In many ways, I would love to allow him to believe one more year (or ten more), but I feel like we need to bring him in on the secret. I know that fourth grade is when kids start to pick on each other relentlessly. I struggle between wanting to preserve a bit of his innocence a little while longer versus not wanting him to lose some of his innocence through teasing and bullying. And this, dear friends, is what makes me want to cry.

Sick-o

November 5, 2009Family, FunFamily, Funwarren

Abigail is sick today so I am working at the house today. I posted a little something over at Not Dabbling in Normal today if you are interested.

Anyhow, Abigail lost another tooth on Halloween so here are a few pics of our real, live jack-o-lantern…

Halloween!

October 30, 2009Family, FunFamily, Funwarren

Not much to say…the pics speak for themselves. We trick-or-treated last night and got way too much candy. Isaac was a dementor (the soul-sucking beast from Harry Potter) and Abigail was an Indian Princess (feather, not a bindi). Emily actually got her to stay still long enough to braid her hair!

Without further adieu…

(not good for human/dementor relations…)

(poor kid…the dementor moved his nose to where his eyes belong…at least they made up!)

Pumpkin fun

October 29, 2009Family, FunFamily, Funwarren

We finally managed to get to the farmers’ market yesterday to buy some pumpkins to carve for Halloween. It’s a tradition afterall, where brothers and sisters gather around the dining room table and fight with each other and their parents while wielding sharp knives. It’s a tradition that goes way back, before the crusades in fact!

Anyhow, the kids design their own faces and prepare their pumpkins by scraping the insides. Our brave warriors could not handle the feel so donned rubber gloves for the task. Isaac is getting much better though. Last year he very nearly threw up. Although the gagging was a bit funny to watch, I don’t really miss that. Anyhow, they got the guts out and I separated the seeds from the fibers and meat.

Emily helped the kids transfer the pumpkins’ facial patterns to the orange beasts. We gave the kids their safety knives for pumpkins and turned them loose.

In the meantime, I set my pumpkin down beside some ingredients. I was planning on cooking a bit. When I walked back into the room, I was able to snap this shocking photo of my pumpkin:

We test-lighted the pumpkins and had a mostly good time hanging around, watching Mo, our cat try to steal pumpkin seeds, and sing our favorite Halloween songs…ok…I made up that last part.

Over the years, I have carved some pretty fun pumpkins at the place I used to work. My co-worker (who shall remain nameless to preserve her privacy) was a genius on this and did most of the work I figure. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy these too:

Yoda…I put a motion detector inside of him and wrote a computer program so that any time there was motion in front of Yoda, he played a Yoda voice clip from one of the movies!

A Magic 8 Ball pumpkin to determine our estimates for when our projects would be complete!

And so I don’t forget, I also did a post over at Not Dabbling in Normal if you’d care to check that out too!

Going for Broke

October 26, 2009Family, FunFamily, Funwarren

Some friends had a birthday party for their kids at an “inflatables” place. Basically, there is one big room full of inflatable Jupiter Jumps and slides and stuff like that. The kids were having a great time for the most part…all except the smallest kids who couldn’t fit through “the Big Squeeze”, a tight spot in one of the inflatables. Really, all they had to do was push their heads though and they would have been fine, but the little kids got stuck.

(at the top of the Wall of Doom) (Ready to jump!)

(Isaac going over the Wall)

You see, there was a big wall they slid down to get to that part and the “Big Squeeze” was the other direction. One or two kids could easily be sacrificed and left in the Gully of Fear, but there got to be a backlog so I went in to hold the “Big Squeeze” open so they could get through.

Of course, I am a big stupid kid so I decided to continue playing on the inflatables. Isaac and I raced through them, plowing down women and children as we went. It was heap-big fun! Of course, these things are really built for kid feet, not adult feet. So, with my adult feet firmly attached, I plowed through one ride and met up with a kid-feet-size step to climb one of the walls. My square-peg foot didn’t fit into the round-peg step and “the Legend of Warren (the goof-ball)” was born.

(uh…girl…you have some cake on your face!)

I hobbled my way through the rest of the maze, but I was pretty sure I had done damage. Emily wasn’t around so I got 11 kids to carry me over to the party room where I could self-diagnose my torn up foot. It might as well be broken…it’s blue and hurts like crazy.

Ok, enough about me…there was a party too and it was fun. Happy birthday kiddos!

(see…they even invited the crazy clown!)

(the injuries)

Do you ever forget to act your age? Ever pay for it?

I suppose the Big Squeeze should be used as a public service announcement also…folks, don’t forget your mammograms.

Earning a Broken Arm

October 7, 2009Family, HistoryFamily, Historywarren

I love this old picture of Emily when she was a kid. We call it her “abused baby” period. Her parents never abused her of course…she did it all herself. When she was about 2, she climbed out of her crib and, like Isaac Newton, learned the truth about gravity…it works! Somehow, she broke her arm. Babies are supposed to have “green” bones that bend and flex. I hate to think about how her arm must have twisted to break. Anyhow, along with the broken arm is the skinned up knee. This picture captures her childhood through junior high as near as I can tell.

We played pretty rough and had a lot of freedom to explore when we were kids. I sometimes struggle as a parent to know how much to allow my kids to roam. Off and on, I have been reading Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder and it makes me think. Now, ask anyone and they’ll tell you just how rare it is that I think. But this book has made me wonder if I am giving my kids enough room to roam and explore and understand nature. The premise of the book is that kids used to be in touch with nature and outside stuff. Now, in an attempt to shelter and protect our kids, we have removed them from the natural world we (and our parents before us) loved so much. It’s where we learned teamwork and problem solving and a good bit more about how life works. So, I don’t know exactly how far to let my kids roam, but I know they need to do so. They may get bumps and bruises and maybe even a broken arm. But a broken arm that is well earned is worth the pain I think.

Where I struggle is with all the “big scaries” that exist out there. I see the sex-offender list and there are bad folks not far, no matter where we may roam. Still, I think we (meaning I) need to do what I can to let my kids roam and pick up snakes and turtles and catch fish and see the bats fly around in the fields at night. It’s important and the only way that they can truly appreciate the world around them I think.

My kids may not be able to roam quite like I did (and I am certain I never roamed like my grandparents did…were their parents crazy?!), but I think there is room for them to explore and still be safe. Who knows, someday they may even earn a broken arm like their Mom…

So, what do you think…do you ever consider the freedom your kids have or what you had when you were a kid? How do you let kids roam and explore?

Toothless Wonder in WV

October 6, 2009Family, FunFamily, Funwarren

WV has a lot of bad statistics associated with it. We deserve some of the bad press, but I think I have an explanation for one problem in the state. You see, WV leads the nation in tooth loss. Apparently some 43% of folks in WV aged 65 or older have had all of their teeth removed. It’s not widely known, but belts are outlawed in WV. Older folks typically obey the law. So, a person faced with a sealed beer bottle and no belt buckle with which to open it will naturally turn to the bottle opener God gave him. Tooth loss among WV’s older folks simply a matter of the anti-belt lobby which is so strong here in WV.

(Abigail came up with the post title, by the way…)

Among younger folks, I have a harder time explaining tooth loss. My daughter lost (i.e. I pulled) another tooth last night. She’s lost 5 teeth since March, Only 1 of those has been replaced by a new adult tooth. So, Abigail is nearly toothless here in WV. What could possibly be causing such change in her? Surely she isn’t getting older on me. No, there must be something else going on here causing young people to lose teeth…

The Aporkalypse is now!

October 2, 2009Family, ThoughtsFamily, Lifewarren

The end is nigh! The end is nigh! The Aporkalypse has struck our house! Isaac was diagnosed with swine flu today. He started complaining of a headache and his fever really hit last night. He is a pitiful thing…and all the squeals and oinks in his sleep…it was such a rough night for all of us. Anyhow, he went to the doctor today and was diagnosed. All the doctor did to diagnose him was go to this site. I would definitely encourage you to diagnose yourself. If I had known how simple it was, I would have saved the co-pay. I believe they gave him some pills and some sort of oinkment. Hopefully that will clear things up and get him back on all 4 hooves again soon. Meanwhile, the rest of us are trying to be extra cautious about hand-washing and so on.

I was studying up on the subject here since Emily told me of Isaac’s diagnosis and it turns out that the swine flu could be a threat to every single person in the United States. I am so glad I am married!

I think it is too late for Emily…she seems to have crossed over to the other part of the barn-yard!

Ok, so I don’t mean to make light of the bad things that have happened to folks who have contracted the swine flu. We’re going to keep an eye on each other and just do our best to get through the illness. Wash your hooves folks!

My Home Among The Hills

Life in WV!