So, anyone that knows me pretty much knows that I am a meat and potatoes and sugar kind of guy.  But lately, we have been trying to eat healthier.  Yeah, I lost a bet, and since my head was already shaved, there was only one good bet left.  So here I am trying to eat better.  So a few weeks ago, I talked about 7 layer salad. Some may argue that it is not super healthy…but it has lettuce and spinach in it so get off my back already…it’s salad!

We discovered another salad that I sort of dig too.  Well, really, lettuce is only the dressing-delivery-vehicle, but I’d rather have a corvette than a chevette as vehicles go.  Wait, I am talking about lettuce here.  Ok, so I do not like ice berg lettuce.  I like the funky expensive spring and summer mix greens if you are buying bagged salad.  Of course, if you grow your own, so much the better.  Anyhow, I throw a bunch of greens in a bowl and add unreasonably sized handfuls of walnuts, craisins, and gorgonzola cheese (feta or bleu cheese work also).  Sometimes I add sunflower seeds and if I’ve had too much to drink, raisins.

These guys ate my salad…

So all that stuff looks pretty and may be enough to trick most guys into eating a bowl of salad.  Of course, I am not most guys.  My Dad always told me I was special…and that one day, if I worked very hard, I could be useful as a clamp or maybe I could be the guy who holds the tape measure on the dumb end.  Anyhow, it takes a bit more than some pretty craisins or a few seeds to get me to eat salad.  No, no, I need dressing.  A friend shared this secret recipe with us and, so long as you promise not to tell anyone, I will share it with you.  Ok, ready?  Here is the dressing:

2/3 cup olive oil
1/3 cup balsamic vinegar
1-2 Tbsp sweet hot mustard
1-2 Tbsp honey mustard
2-3 Tbsp honey
1-3 Tbsp sugar (to taste)

We mix all this in a pint jar and store in the refrigerator.  Let it warm before serving of course…it looks very dark because of the vinegar but I love this stuff…probably because of the vinegar!

Yeah, well, the title is a bit misleading.  This salad never hurt anyone and does not only exist in the city.  In fact, it is the teddy-bear of salads and is the international salad of love.  Anyhow, the salad is amazing…it is powerful stuff and a title like “Plain old Salad” or “Salad to Make your Day” just didn’t seem to get it.  So, that leaves me with “Urban Assault Salad”.

We love to make and eat this salad so I thought I would share.  You have probably come across 7-layer salad before and this is our version of it.  I hope you enjoy!

7 Layer Salad

1 head shredded lettuce (iceberg if you must…otherwise something better)

1 bunch/pkg fresh spinach – broken

4 hard boiled eggs – chopped

1 cup grated cheddar cheese

1 pkg uncooked peas – thawed (or not 🙂 )

1 bunch green onions – chopped

1/2 lb bacon cooked and crumbled (We always cook too much bacon so I can “snack” as we prepare the stuff.  I recommend it!)

Layer ingredients as listed…this makes a lot so have a good sized bowl ready

Dressing

1 cup mayonaise

1/2 pkg Hidden Valley Ranch mix

1/2 cup sour cream

Spread dressing on top of salad and top with a sprinkling of cheese and bacon

Ok, I know…this is just a salad…but somewhere in the construction of this salad is a mystical combination that lets you see into other worlds, to ride on the waves of time and space, to dance among the stars….well…it really rocks anyhow!  

Holler if you’ve ever (or never) had this stuff or if you have a variation.  I’d love to hear other folks’ experiences in dream land.  Of course, as always, please feel free to just say “hi” too!

So I am passing through my 30s (but still easily in my 30s…don’t forget it!) and stuff is starting to catch up with me a little.  I like to lift weights at the gym but I am finding that my recovery time is not quite what it used to be.  In fact, I had to go to the chiropractor yesterday so that I can continue to function.  Anyhow, my blood pressure is too high so I take medicine for that as well.

On my most recent two trips for the normal doctor-type poking and prodding, my doc found that my cholesterol is headed in the wrong direction.  Who knew that 2 butter crunch donuts and a Mountain Dew every day for breakfast was not a good thing?  Anyhow, my doctor insisted that I have only one more try to get my cholesterol down before she puts me on medication (btw, just kidding about the donuts and Mountain Dew!).  Medication on its own does not necessarily bother me but what gets me is having to part with money…I mean, Kroger is already getting my $4 per month for the generic blood pressure medicine…another $4 for cholesterol too?  I think not!  That’s at least 2 Mountain Dews or 3 Tahitian Treats !

I was lamenting the facts with a friend of mine and he suggested that I try his recipe for fiber muffins.  “Hold on old man…I’m not ready for fiber anything!”  But then he told me his news…he had high blood pressure and cholesterol and was given a similar ultimatum by his doctor.  Somewhere (from out of his hind parts I think), he found a recipe for fiber muffins.  I suspect that the original recipe produced sawdust bricks that are typical of fiber muffins.  He messed with different flours and ingredients until he created a muffin that was high in fiber and tasted great.  My friend started making these muffins and also started a South Beach diet and was able to drop his cholesterol and blood pressure number faster than 2,000,000 people could fill 5000 porta-johns on the Mall at the Presidential inauguration yesterday.

My friend was kind enough to share his hard work with me by sharing this recipe and I am passing it on to you, my closest personal friends!  I have been eating the muffins for a few days now so we’ll see what they do for my numbers.  Anyhow, please feel free to try these things if you’d like.  Regardless of their healing powers and miraculous magical properties, they flat out taste good.

Of course, there are other issues that come with age which are helped by extra fiber in the diet.  I don’t yet suffer from those problems, but I am told that these muffins are a “regular” cure-all for that as well!

So, here is the recipe:

Gut Buster Muffins

2 cups bran cereal (like Fiber One)

2 cups milk or whipping cream (I used milk)

1/2 cup melted butter

2 eggs

1 TBSP vanilla

3 TBSP cinnamon (optional but recommended)

1 TBSP nutmeg (optional but recommended)

1/2 cup rolled oats

Mix all this and let it sit for at least 10 minutes to soften the cereal

Meanwhile, in a large bowl, combine these ingredients:

1/2 cup oat flour

1/2 cup oat bran

1/2 cup flax meal (or grind flax seed yourself)

1/2 cup whole wheat flour

1/2 cup almond meal

1/2 cup walnuts (I chopped mine up pretty fine)

1/4 cup wheat gluten

3 TBSP baking powder

1 1/4 cups sugar (or splenda or honey….I used honey once but it made a denser muffin…may not be as nice to eat…I mostly use sugar now)

Once the first bowl is softened, add it to the second bowl.  Bake at 325 deg F for 35 minutes

This will make about 30 or so muffins…you’ll probably need to refrigerate some of these as they will go bad quickly (being lots of natural ingredients).  In out house, Emily and the kids and I are all eating them so they aren’t lasting long enough to go bad.  By the way, the recipe halves very easily as well.   Let me know if you try the recipe.  I hope you enjoy!

By the way, here is a nutritional analysis I did on these muffins:
pdf document excel spreadsheet

There is an extraordinarily ugly persimmon tree beside our house.  I first noticed what it was last year and I was determined to make jelly from the persimmons.  I did a little research and found that persimmons must be picked at the right time as they are very astringent if picked too early.  Typically, persimmons gain sweetness after the first hard frost of the fall.  We picked the nice pretty orange ones in late November last year after a good, solid frost and made the nice pale orange jelly shown below.

Now when people say astringent, I thought they meant a little bitey.  Little did I know…so I decided to make some toast and try my new pretty orange persimmoon jelly.  It smelled so good so I took an extra big bite.  As soon as the jelly hit my mouth, it promptly caved my face in on itself.  Holy moley!  What does astringent mean again!?

from wikipedia:  “Astringency is also the dry, puckering mouth feeling caused by tannins found in many fruits such as blackthorn, bird cherry and persimmon fruits, and banana skins. The tannins denature the salivary proteins, causing a rough “sandpapery” sensation in the mouth”

A sandpapery sensation in the mouth…uh, yeah!  That’s one way to put it…I’d say more like eating an entire beach!  Anyhow, I am pretty determined about things so I decided to try again this year…but I waited a little later to harvest the fruit.  It looked a little different this time.  Persimmons, when fully ripe (apparently around January 2 in WV), are dark, mushy, super stickey and a very mild sweet flavor (I tried one from the tree this year rather than making the whole batch into jelly, without tasting the fruit).  This year’s jelly is no where near as pretty, but it is very tasty, though very mild.  The darker fruit and jelly are from this year.  So, if you find an extraordanarily ugly persimmon tree nearby, wait until the persimmons are good and ripe or risk looking like this.

The recipe I used was pinched from epicurian.com:

Ingredients:
3.5 to 4 lbs ripe persimmons
2 cups water
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 pkg powdered pectin
1 cup honey

Directions:
Wash fruit, remove blossom ends. Put in 6 to 8 quart non reactive pot. Add water. Bring to boil. Mash persimmons. Reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes. Remove from heat. Use food mill or strainer to remove pits. Measure 3 cups of pulp. Stir in lemon juice and pectin. Bring to boil and add honey all at once. Bring to full rolling boil and boil 1 to 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Jar, seal and water bath can for 5 minutes.