Category Archives: Fun

Hair? On Warren?

December 21, 2009Fun, ThoughtsFun, Thoughtswarren

I haven’t needed a haircut since 1996. I hadn’t paid for one for several years prior to that but, in 1996, I shaved my head and started to build the empire that is “Warren” today. Hair and the idea of hair have both always sort of eluded me and been a bit of a question in my atrophied brain…what is the point of hair anyhow? I get by without it quite nicely. In fact, I am more aerodynamic that most hair-endowed folks (I like to call that a hair disability). Hair is just such a nuisance…you have to style it and dry it and cut it and if you wear a crash helmet, you have to worry about helmet head. I just don’t get hair.

Although I don’t get hair, I do get people – and that, friends, is why I program computers. Anyhow, my dear brother, who always had a full mop of hair, has a tradition where he doesn’t shave between Thanksgiving and Christmas. In the time between Christmas and New Year’s Day, he shaves his face-mane in parts, each day leaving an interesting facial-hair style (see some of the possibilities). Since I get people, I know that he must feel conspicuous being the only one in our family to participate. This year, being the kind and gentle brother that I am, I have decided to take part in the tradition as well. I stopped shaving on Thanksgiving and have been growing this luxurious set of whiskers since. You can see the reverse progression up through yesterday. The white stuff you see on my chin is not gray hair…no, no, friends, that is snow that got stuck in my beard while I was sled riding with the kids. I am nowhere near old enough to have gray hair…losing my hair is one thing, but gray hair? I think not!

So, what about it folks? Do you have funny traditions? Do you grow a beard?

Our first indoor allergy-maker!

December 1, 2009Family, Fun, Nature, Thoughts, WVChristmas, Family, Fun, WVwarren

Tomorrow is my birthday…it’s not a big one…not a decade mark, but I am pretty happy to celebrate another year. Both Emily and I have been around the sun a few times though and had never experienced a live Christmas tree. We never had live trees growing up because I am allergic to everything. Of course, I grew up in the woods so I was surrounded by evergreen trees, but they were never in the house. Anyhow, since I have been so sick the last month or so, I decided that a new tree can’t possibly make me feel any worse than I already do.

We loaded up the kids in the van and headed to the Capitol Market in Charleston, one of WV’s best farmer’s markets. This time of year, the sell only one thing…Christmas trees! We wandered through hundreds of trees looking for the cheapest price….erm..I mean the best shaped tree. About 2/3 of the way down the market, we happened upon the cheapest…erm…best shaped…trees. We talked to the folks working there and they told us where their trees were grown (locally) and their price was good so we picked out a tree.

The guy working there ran our tree through the wrapping machine and offered to run Isaac through as well. I told him I would pay him $10 extra to run both kids through but we measured and his machine would not quite handle their size. I bet for $20 he would have made it work.

Anyhow, we tied the tree atop the van and proceeded to cruise over all of the hills and curves back to the house. Neither of us wanted to look back fearing we’d see our tree rolling down the hill towards the next car in line.

We made it home and I manhandled the tree into the house and set it into the new tree stand we bought. The kids cut the tree-wrap into hundreds of tiny pieces that were left strewn about the house. Emily cut the last bit of the wrap as the kids and I cowered in fear of the tree’s opening.

We put lights on the tree and, of course, the kids started to fight. The good news is, they seemed to fight in rhythm with the Christmas carols we had playing so it felt like Christmas indeed!

So far, allergies have not been a factor and I have not yet keeled over dead. I am not any better, but I am not much worse either!

So, do you set up a tree? Live or artificial?

Flight Lessons

November 30, 2009FunFunwarren

A few years ago, we were feeling sort of goofy at the office so we decided to have a paper airplane flying contest around Thanksgiving. Our office is on the top floor of our building so we have a lot of potential to fly a plane quite a distance. At the time, we decided that the contest would be an annual tradition. Three years later, we decided to have the 2nd annual paper airplane flying contest…

In the first contest, I had a superior design but was adversely affected by wind currents and unexpected air inversions. My plane landed in a tree that grows right beside the building. Another fella with a primitive design fly his plane nearly to the river…the Mississippi River that is. Anyhow, a week or so ago, we decided to have a pre-contest practice run where I once again flew my superior design directly into the same dang tree. The pre-contest drove me nuts…first place was won by the new girl in the office…again with a primitive design. Second place was taken by another guy who threw a box lid off the roof. You see, the only rule was that the plane had to contain some paper product.

Since my superior design didn’t even really show for the fight…I mean flight, I declared the contest to be void. We had the “real” contest on Wednesday before Thanksgiving. This time, I decided I was absolutely going to win…I brought a special plane:

Guess what…we had the trim on the control wrong and this plane flew right into the same dang tree…how can I lose with a powered plane? Soon, that tree will meet its end!

Anyhow, the box-lid thrower this time threw a roll of toilet paper off the roof…and it did very well. I think next year I will go simple rather than superior!

My wife has CDO

November 20, 2009Family, FunFamily, Funwarren

I know that mental health issues are no laughing matter, but I have to tell you about Emily’s OCD, or, as she likes to describe it, her CDO (that’s OCD in alphabetical order). She has all sorts of quirks, but one in particular is especially funny and evident throughout our house.

We’ve been doing some home repairs and replacing stuff that just plain needs replaced. One of those things is the switch and receptacle covers. It’s really a trivial matter unscrewing one or two screws, pulling off the old cover, adding the new, and replacing the screws, right?

Well, it’s a different story in our household with Emily around. I can do the first 3 steps of the process, but Emily insists on putting the screws in place. You see, in our house, the screws can’t simply be replaced….oh, no…they must be installed such that the slot of the screw is perfectly vertical. People are pretty good at determining whether something is vertical. By no means are we perfect, but one would think that “eyeball vertical” would be vertical enough to satisfy Emily’s screw-vertical-slot-OCD. You’d be wrong…

We have outfitted a flathead screwdriver with a small torpedo level so she can be certain that the screws are vertical, “as God intended them to be.” I understand when folks are particular about things. I really do get it. But I also like to have a little fun now and then as well.

So, here’s my experiment. I am about to loosen one of the screws in the switch cover in our bedroom. I’ll time how long it takes her to find and fix the “problem”.

Let’s see, it’s 9:52pm…

HA! 10:19 and the “problem” is fixed! The best part is that she spent 20 minutes going through the rest of the house seeing if I had messed with any other screws!

Is egg nog supposed to grow hair on your chest?

November 19, 2009FunFunwarren

I haven’t always loved egg nog, but I love it now. I am not sure when it started…I suppose it just grew in time (sound any like Elizabeth on Pride and Prejudice?). When I was a kid, my parents (mostly my Dad) ate sardines and buttermilk and scrapple and egg nog. It all just seemed like stuff that wasn’t supposed to be ingested. But in time, the lure of the egg nog alone won me over.

I am not much of a drinker regardless of what some of my posts may suggest. My entire family has been sick for the last hundred years or so…or maybe it’s just been the last 3 weeks. Anyhow, I was in Rite Aid the other day picking up motrin (which is absolutely magic on fevers) when I spied with my eye, a bottle of Evan Williams egg nog. I got a little giddy when I saw it because I figured I would be a better connoisseur of egg nog having tried every variety I can find. And yes, before you ask, I do have high hopes of being a world famous egg nog master…more on that later.

So, I hauled my bottle of spiked nog to the counter where the cashier lady quadruple wrapped my bottle in bags so no one on the outside world would know they sell whiskey and such there (I guess). I gently cradled my new baby in my arms and buckled him into the car for the trip home. Once home, I cleared the top shelf of the refrigerator and carefully placed the bottle to let him chill.

Later on in the evening, the moment of truth arrived. I prepared my finest dixie cup and attempted to open the bottle of nog. Mr Williams must have had a much stronger grip than I have because I could not open that bottle for the life of me. I can’t imagine the terror that must cause someone who…uh…really needs egg nog. Anyhow, I finally found the proper tool to disengage the lid and I poured out my portion and took a sip.

In my opinion, Mr Williams produces one of the absolute nastiest things I have ever tasted (and remember, I have licked a lot of bells!) As you know, a dixie cup is not very large, but I could not bear to finish my sample. Down the drain it went. And by the way, I happen to have a good deal on a partially used bottle of nasty…any takers?

Ok…sorry, I thought not. If you want to read something more useful, take a look at a post I wrote over at Not Dabbling in Normal…

The rodent war of NW PA

November 12, 2009Family, Fun, NatureFamily, Fun, Naturewarren

My Grandpa is a pretty amazing man. He never cured any mysterious diseases or won a Nobel prize, but he is just clever and patient and a lot of fun…and he ended the Rodent War of NW PA.

I grew up in northwest PA where the chipmunk is the region’s mascot. You see, it is woodsy where my people are. There are miles and miles of trees and not a stoplight or fast food restaurant to be found. Critters sort of run the show there. When I was growing up, we had a bit of a problem with squirrels in the house. My parents used extreme prejudice in the removal of over 30 in one year…inside the house…in their bed, in the bathroom, the living room…everywhere in the house.

So folks in the area live a sort of uneasy coexistence with rodents. Everyone has squirrel problems and war is declared regularly. Actually, they are more like regional outbreaks and minor skirmishes, but tell that to the people on the front lines. Anyhow, most rational people know that they should be cautious as they go to sleep at night. The squirrels are relentless and merciless.

Anyhow, my Grandpa, the pacifist, sought to end the chaos of war in the area so he extended the olive branch to a local chipmunk, a local tribal leader and the spokes-rodent in the area. Slowly and patiently, he enticed the chipmunk closer and closer with sunflower seeds. In time, he was able to feed Edgar Snyder, the chipmunk out of his hand. He named the chipmunk Edgar Snyder after the locally-famous ambulance chaser who had really annoying ads on tv.

Anyhow, Edgar and Grandpa struck up quite a friendship and a relationship based on respect and trust. Edgar would eat from friendly people’s hands. Once in your hand, Edgar could be moved around by gently lifting his tail and shifting his backside. As long as the sunflower seeds lasted, he was happy to stick around.

I was fortunate enough to witness this beautiful thing they had together first hand…literally. I fed Edgar and asked him to send my best regards to his rodent friends. In time, it was apparent that my Grandpa had broken the rodent wars of NW PA. The truce lasted for some time and prosperity returned to the land!

Trans-Siberian Orchestra

November 9, 2009Awesome, FunAwesome, Funwarren

OH. MY. WORD! This weekend we saw the Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert in Charleston. I have seen some pretty cool concerts but nothing compares to the concert these folks put on. Their concert was full of light and lasers and fire and sound and fire and more fire! It was the most visually overwhelming thing I have ever seen!

Ok…back up…what is Trans-Siberian Orchestra for those of you who are uninitiated? They term their musical style as Rock Opera…with Fire! I really liked the fire! We had pretty great seats close to the main stage but the performance really takes place all across the floor of the arena. Snow fell from the sky and smoke rose from the floor (which had me concerned once I saw fire also come from the floor).

There are lasers and light EVERYWHERE and the sound was just right…loud but not so loud that the audience lost the lyrics and music. My ears were ringing for 24 hours afterwards which was also just right. There are no bad seats for a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert!

Before the performance started, a few members of the group came on stage and presented a check to Mountain Mission for their food drive. It was a pretty great gesture and was received well by the crowd. The concert started as a narrator began telling a story of a man he met who had a story of a child far from home on Christmas. The narrator’s voice was deep and booming and gave me chills as he told his story. The orchestra (which, by the way, had WV strings players) played along with the electric guitars and an absolutely fantastic drummer. The story was told in narration and song and was absolutely fantastic.

I can’t really say enough about this concert and my pictures surely don’t do it justice…it was amazing! If you ever get a chance to see them, you MUST go!

Sick-o

November 5, 2009Family, FunFamily, Funwarren

Abigail is sick today so I am working at the house today. I posted a little something over at Not Dabbling in Normal today if you are interested.

Anyhow, Abigail lost another tooth on Halloween so here are a few pics of our real, live jack-o-lantern…

Halloween!

October 30, 2009Family, FunFamily, Funwarren

Not much to say…the pics speak for themselves. We trick-or-treated last night and got way too much candy. Isaac was a dementor (the soul-sucking beast from Harry Potter) and Abigail was an Indian Princess (feather, not a bindi). Emily actually got her to stay still long enough to braid her hair!

Without further adieu…

(not good for human/dementor relations…)

(poor kid…the dementor moved his nose to where his eyes belong…at least they made up!)

Pumpkin fun

October 29, 2009Family, FunFamily, Funwarren

We finally managed to get to the farmers’ market yesterday to buy some pumpkins to carve for Halloween. It’s a tradition afterall, where brothers and sisters gather around the dining room table and fight with each other and their parents while wielding sharp knives. It’s a tradition that goes way back, before the crusades in fact!

Anyhow, the kids design their own faces and prepare their pumpkins by scraping the insides. Our brave warriors could not handle the feel so donned rubber gloves for the task. Isaac is getting much better though. Last year he very nearly threw up. Although the gagging was a bit funny to watch, I don’t really miss that. Anyhow, they got the guts out and I separated the seeds from the fibers and meat.

Emily helped the kids transfer the pumpkins’ facial patterns to the orange beasts. We gave the kids their safety knives for pumpkins and turned them loose.

In the meantime, I set my pumpkin down beside some ingredients. I was planning on cooking a bit. When I walked back into the room, I was able to snap this shocking photo of my pumpkin:

We test-lighted the pumpkins and had a mostly good time hanging around, watching Mo, our cat try to steal pumpkin seeds, and sing our favorite Halloween songs…ok…I made up that last part.

Over the years, I have carved some pretty fun pumpkins at the place I used to work. My co-worker (who shall remain nameless to preserve her privacy) was a genius on this and did most of the work I figure. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy these too:

Yoda…I put a motion detector inside of him and wrote a computer program so that any time there was motion in front of Yoda, he played a Yoda voice clip from one of the movies!

A Magic 8 Ball pumpkin to determine our estimates for when our projects would be complete!

And so I don’t forget, I also did a post over at Not Dabbling in Normal if you’d care to check that out too!

My Home Among The Hills

Life in WV!